Hiring a nanny to care for your children is a big decision - one that comes with its fair share of challenges. While someone might have been recommended to you by family or friends, sometimes things don't work out. A few weeks or even months into the working relationship with your nanny, you may find that, for whatever reason, she's not the right fit for you.
If you're in a situation where the relationship with your nanny either isn't quite right or breaks down it can be a stressful and difficult experience, especially if you're dealing with it on your own.
Here are some tips on how we would help you address this problem and find a suitable replacement.
Reasons why the relationship with your nanny might not work
If you hired a nanny based on a recommendation from family and friends or perhaps after searching online (using specialised websites or nanny databases), you might notice that despite all your efforts and good intentions, your nanny isn't quite working out.
Here are some examples of the reasons why that might be:
Lack of necessary skills or experience. Despite having done your due diligence and checking references and qualifications, you may find that the nanny you hired doesn't have the relevant experience to effectively care for your child or meet your family's specific needs.
Different parenting styles. Perhaps you didn't think of discussing the nanny's approach to disciplining, educating, or interacting with your child ahead of hiring her. And now you find that her style doesn't quite align with your parenting beliefs and expectations. For example, she might take the approach of 'leaving your child to cry' when you'd prefer a more child-led gentle approach.
Incompatibility with the children. Despite your best efforts to check that the nanny is qualified and experienced, you now find that she has difficulties bonding with your child, and this causes friction and tension in the relationship.
Further reasons why the relationship with your nanny might be breaking down
Unreliability or inconsistency. Perhaps the nanny doesn't arrive on time, she doesn't follow through with her responsibilities, or she shows signs of unprofessional behaviour. You're no longer sure whether you can trust her and leave your child in her care.
Mismatch of expectations. Maybe things aren't working with your nanny because there are aspects you hadn't discussed in advance. For example, what happens when you're home late from work? Is the nanny expected to work overtime? If so, will she be compensated? Did you let her know in advance that you were going to be late? But things could go both ways. It could be the nanny is not happy with the extra, unplanned duties she's now being asked to take responsibility for.
Change of circumstances. Did your situation change? Maybe you've moved, and the nanny is not happy with the longer commute. Or you'd agreed to be in the office five days a week, but now you're working from home some of the time, and sharing space with the nanny is proving difficult. If things have changed, it could be that either you or the nanny are no longer happy with your original agreement.
So, what can you do now?
How our specialised nanny agency can help you find the perfect new nanny
If you find yourself in a situation where your nanny hasn't worked out for whatever reason, we can help. Here's the process we follow.
Step 1 - The initial consultation
One of the services we offer our clients that sets us apart from other agencies is our initial, thorough consultation aimed at exploring your requirements in detail. It's an in-depth Zoom call or in-person appointment (one hour or longer, depending on your availability) where we ask relevant questions about you, your child, and your family.
It's not just about the 'superficial questions' around finding out what days or hours you'd like your nanny to work or what duties you'd like her to perform. We also ask questions about:
Your parenting style and what kind of approach you'd like your nanny to adopt.
The type of nanny you're looking for. Do they need to have specific training or qualifications?
The nanny's personality. Do you want someone outdoorsy and active who will take your child on frequent walks and outings to the park no matter the weather? Or would you prefer someone with a higher focus on education who will often read to your child and help with reaching specific developmental milestones?
Your household and working situation. Will you be working from home? If so, how will you ensure you share your working space with the nanny in a way that works for you, the nanny, and your child? Is your household 'formal' with other members of staff (perhaps another nanny, housekeeper, PA, etc.) or is it a more informal environment? Will you have relatives or friends visiting often, etc?
These are just some examples of the topics we cover, but essentially, no stone is left unturned! If something's relevant to your professional relationship with your future nanny, we'll ask questions about it. Because the answers you give us are key to finding you a nanny who's a right fit for you and your family.
Step 2 - Finding the right candidates for you
Once we have all the information we need from you, we start looking for a few candidates that fit your profile. We have our own database of nannies but also have plenty of contacts in our network that allow us to get in touch with the type of nanny you're looking for. Chances are we'll have someone on our professional radar who fits the bill already. But if we don't, we'll find them for you.
We'll also do all the preliminary work of checking their qualifications and references (by contacting previous employers directly) and interviewing the nannies before you do. This way, you can be sure that the 3-4 candidates we put forward meet your criteria.
Step 3 - Interview and trial
Once we're happy with the candidates we handpicked, we assist you in interviewing your prospective nanny. If you're not sure about what questions to ask, we give you plenty of helpful tips too.
After the interview, we also suggest you run a paid trial with one or two candidates that you feel would work best for your family. We find that a two-hour trial often isn't enough, so we advise you to observe your nanny-to-be 'in action' for a longer period - perhaps start with 3-4 hours, and if this goes well, a day or two, or even longer if necessary.
If you want to find out more about the process of interviewing and trialling your prospective nanny, you can read the blog posts How We Interview and Select the Ideal Nanny for Your Family and Putting Trust to the Test - The Value of Paid Nanny Trials for Families.
Step 4 - Aftercare and continuous support
Once you've hired your nanny, and they start working with you, we continue to offer our expertise and support. We check in regularly with you and the nanny to help you iron out any small issues that may have come up from working together or to answer any questions you might have.
This is why we find that when families work with us to hire a nanny, relationships hardly ever break down. Because we put in all the work upfront and use a tried and tested thorough process.
You don't just hire someone who's been referred and recommended by others and may be, to all effects, a fantastic nanny but not the right nanny for you. Working with us means you're minimising the risk of finding someone who isn't ideal for your family. We do the work upfront and the matchmaking in advance so you're more likely to find a good fit the first time around.
Helping you to repair the 'broken down' relationship with your existing nanny
If you have small issues with your nanny that you're happy to try and resolve without necessarily looking for a new nanny, we can still help.
When we work with you, we almost act like intermediaries between you and the nanny. We can tactfully have those difficult conversations with the nanny (so you don't have to) and come to a new agreement.
Here are some examples of what we can do:
Facilitate open communication between you and your nanny to address and resolve any existing concerns or misunderstandings.
Provide support and guidance on how to effectively communicate and handle difficult conversations with your nanny going forward.
Assist in renegotiating roles, responsibilities, and expectations to improve the relationship with your existing nanny. This could also lead to the creation of a new contract between you (the employer) and the nanny.
Would you like our support?
Hiring a nanny is a significant decision - one that comes with both rewards and challenges. If you find yourself in a situation where your current nanny isn't the right fit for your family, we can help.
Our thorough consultation process ensures we understand your specific needs and preferences, allowing us to match you with the perfect nanny for your family. From checking qualifications and references to facilitating interviews and trials, we take the guesswork out of finding a suitable replacement for you.
Don't let a mismatched nanny relationship cause you stress and tension! Contact us now for an informal chat about how we can help you create a harmonious and successful nanny-family relationship.
Comments