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Things to Say to Your Child Instead of 'Don't Cry'

We understand that dealing with your little ones when they are upset or angry can be challenging and it is often difficult to know exactly what to say to calm them down and make them feel better. We can give them a cuddle and try to reassure them but sometimes they want some time by themselves or to talk about it later.


Studies have revealed that when children begin to cry, they are making use of their body’s innate recovery system. When someone gets hurt, physically or emotionally, we can make use of crying, laughing, raging or even trembling – it is important to encourage children show their feelings as opposed to storing it all up in their bodies as tension. By doing this, our body will process and release all of our feelings.


From a young age, some of us remember being told “don’t cry”, which is extremely unhealthy, and we believe that it is much better for mental health if we encourage our children to talk freely and share their feelings.


Here are ten things to say to your little ones when they are experiencing these emotions, we hope you find them helpful.


1. 'I’m here for you'


2. 'I can see how upset you are'


3. 'I’m sorry that this is so hard'


4. 'I’m not going anywhere'


5. 'I promise, you are safe here with me'


6. 'I hear you sweetheart'


7. 'Let’s have another look at your hurt… knee/finger/toe'


8. 'I’m sorry they said/did that to you, that’s not right'


9. 'I’ll be here while you are upset'


10. There’s nothing more important than me being here with you right now


It truly is important to make your little ones feel as though they are in a safe environment. Encourage your child to talk about their feelings and emotions so that they don’t build them up or store them away as that will create greater issues in the future.


Remember, it’s okay to not be okay.



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